On the improving of life and how to "chut up"

Donnie Darko is one of my favorite movies of all time. The conflicting emotions, complex relatable characters, moments of unexpected humor, and intricate plot all make for one of the only movies I can enjoy watching more than once.

In the movie, there's an obese asian girl who is fluent in Engrish who is unfit for the gauntlet of american high school. She is a pretty tangential character to the movie, but she somehow elicits a lot of emotion in each scene she is in; whether getting verbally tortured by bullies or dancing in a decidedly uncool ballet at the high school talent show.

All that to say, one of my favorite moments of the movie comes near the end of the movie. Donnie is becoming overwhelmed with life around him, and upon seeing the girl, he grabs her earmuffed head and states soundly something to the effect of, "I promise, things will get better for you". Her ears being covered to his encouragement, she intreprets his gesture as just another taunt, and runs away, telling Donnie to "chut up!".

The simplicity of being told "things will get better for you" is something that resonates rather soundly in my current stage of life.

Life is open to all opportunities at this moment, and every morning I have to remind myself of the opportunities while shedding the feeling of being paralyzed by the demons of a hard season in life.

Every morning, I have to wonder how I am going to keep it all together for the day. Every night, I go to sleep exhausted, the task of simply pressing through time without panic attacks, teary eyes, or the feeling of numerous shotgun blasts to the chest becoming laborious.

Despite this, I am able to find things each day that shed a glimpse to a better future and a meaningful present. A note from my mom, a phone conversation with an old friend, a job contact sending me an encouraging email, the bliss of running to exhaustion, the feeling of having a meaningful Christian faith for the first time in my life.

There they are, each and every day. I wake up completely weak every morning, but each day I can rely on something, someone telling me, "I promise, things will get better for you"